Nessie Getting Nasty?

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bigfoot's been going on quite the cinematic killing spree of late, but what about the Loch Ness Monster? I don't think Nessie's killed anyone on film since 1981's Loch Ness Horror. And don't bring up 2001's Beneath Loch Ness, either. Nessie got killed by the even larger prehistoric predator that had taken refuge in the famed Scottish loch so that one doesn't count.

Dammit, we need a killer Loch Ness Monster movie! Get me the Sci-Fi Channel on the phone, pronto! What's that? They're already on it? Loch Ness Terror, you say? Hooray!

Ask and ye shall receive.

Okay, folks, now choke on this plot synopsis:

"James Murphey is a rugged cryptozoologist, who thirty years earlier, during a trip to Loch Ness, Scotland, had a fatal encounter with the fabled "Nessie" creature that killed his father, and left James with deep facial scar. Twenty years later, James is hunting for Nessie, when his search leads him to the sleepy town of Pike Island, Ashburn, on Lake Superior. Hiring Josh Riley as his guide, James and Josh bond over their mutual scientific interests and deceased fathers, while James tries to convince Josh's mother, Sheriff Karen Riley, that the 60-foot plesiosaur is killing and breeding."

I'm so confused. So the movie is called Loch Ness Terror but it's actually about a monster lurking within one of North America's Great Lakes? Did the Loch Ness Monster migrate to the US-Canada border? Does Champ know that Nessie has crossed the Atlantic and is trying to horn in on his "Most Famous Lake Monster of North America" status? It's like Nessie has suddenly turned into Microsoft and is hellbent to run all the competition out of business.

And what's the timeline on this again? Thirty years earlier? Twenty years later? Huh? Now I'm even more confused.

Something that loopy sounding can only mean it’s a Sci-Fi Channel original movie. Brian Krause, he of "Charmed" and Stephen King's Sleepwalkers fame, stars as the rugged cryptozoologist looking to unleash a little Loch Ness deathwish. Directing duties fell to Paul Ziller, a Sci-Fi Channel regular who was also at the helm for Snakehead Terror, Swarmed, and Android Apocalypse.

And, yes, Loch Ness Terror was shot on location in Canada.

Sci-Fi has yet to schedule a premiere date but I'll go out on a limb and guess later this summer or early fall. I for one am dying to find out what the Loch Ness-Lake Superior connection turns out to be.

- The Foywonder


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